Closer to God

The Vengeance:

Today I had a rather fantastic experience. I was up late last night, so I didn't make it to church this morning, so this evening I (for the 6th time) went to a church that I've heard has a fantastic night time college group. Again (for the 5th time) they were not there. It was very frustrating.

I've really wanted to get some more Christian fellowship in my life, but it seems like every time I try something goes wrong. I miss it because I got the time wrong. I had work and couldn't make it. Or the church as a secret vendetta against me and makes it a point to not show up when I'm coming. (not really, but it is eerie how they manage to avoid me)

Today I'd really been hoping to get some spiritual nourishment, since it's been a while since I've felt like I knew my God at all. This afternoon I had taken a walk, and the weather was fantastic, and it made me think of Him, and I was excited to spend some time worshiping and learning about Him.

But they weren't there.

I decided I was not going to yet again wander home only moments after leaving with my tail between my legs. I was going to do something I had not done, that I have so often wanted to do.

I was going to go somewhere where I could be alone, where it could be just me and God.

I drove around for a while, wondering where I could go and be alone. Now, I'm not talking alone in the house, or alone in my room. I'm talking really, truly alone. No distractions like my television or ipod or computer, no one in the house to bang on the door and ask who I was talking to, nothing.

I thought of a park, and was at first nervous, thinking only of the dark, dangerous main park down town. Then I remembered a park near my old high school that was perfect. It was huge, and had many small, winding roads, so I could be close enough to get to my car, should there be any emergencies.

I had to meander along the little roads for some time before I found a place that was almost entirely isolated. I parked and wandered to a children's play area not far from where I'd parked.

Then I sat down and started talking.

I told Him of my worries, my fears, my uncertainties. It was hardly praying, more like conversing with Him.

I asked him about my purpose, I told him about my dreams. I know that I was rambling, but I also think he was listening, and maybe even giving me some insight into my problems and questions.

I came away feeling like I'd learned more about God by simply talking to Him than I'd learned in years of Church and youth groups. It felt so good to know Him more.

I intend to make a habit of it. At least once a week I'd like to go out somewhere isolated, just like Jesus went out into the desert, and talk to God. I think it will help me to know him better. And the better I know Him, the easier it will be to know His Will.

I'd encourage you to do the same. Take some time out of your week, go somewhere quiet and isolated, and just talk to God. I think it will do you good.

It certainly helped me.

It's just me this week. I thought this experience was well worth telling. Mrs. Smith is still my co-author in this blog. ^_^